Bragging Rights Awards through seven years (part one)

After seven years, it’s time to hand out some awards.

Greatest team in league history

So, there are a few ways to go about it. We could take the easy way out and go by straight statistics (cause that’s how this game is measured), but that’s not as fun. Tyler’s 2014 team still holds the record for points scored in a regular season, with Pat’s 2016 team falling just short of that threshold. One thing I’m not sure anyone had dug up yet is total points on a championship run, each of the seven years. So here’s that:

2013 – I’m Just Here to Pick Romo – 231.20

2014 – I’m Just Here to Pick Romo – 216.68

2015 – Rowdy Rhinos – 288.16

2016 – Stairway to Evans – 195.48

2017 – Cobb’s Bubble Route – 236.3

2018 – FFCA – 219.04

2019 – Bunns of Steel – 233.6

Did anybody remember Sloan’s Tour De Force from 2015? I sure as shit did not. Drops a steaming 157 right on Everybody’s Favorite Information Security Guy in the semis, then follows it up with 130+ in the finals against yours truly. Couple that with a points title to boot in that year, 2015 Rowdy has a strong argument.

The only team in league history to win both the regular season and playoffs, 2016 Stairway To Evans, is up next. 10-4 overall, second in points scored, but also had the second-fewest points scored against. One feather in the cap for Stairway is this team was tied with 2014 Rowdy Rhinos for leading point-scoring players for their position, with three. Zeke, Mike Evans and Travis Kelce, not to mention Pat had stashed Gronk on his bench by end of year, possibly as a human victory cigar. The thing that hurts him, as noted above, is it’s the fewest points scored by a champion in the playoffs amongst the two championship rounds. An 83-68 rock fight between him and Steve in the semis mucked up what ended up being a crowning moment for Patty Ice. I’ve seen more resistance in the foam pits than from what Steve’s team put up in that particular showdown.

The third (and what may be the final contender for now, embrace debate) is our most recent champ, Bunns of Steel. For this team’s there’s a different argument. After starting 0-3, Bunns found his way into the playoffs, and pulled off a second straight improbable run. T-Rav sustained the most points scored against in league history, and parlayed a McCafferey all-world season and Michael Thomas blackmailing Drew Brees to throw to him 15 times a game into another title, while sweating out the Russ-Mahomies decision each week. Here’s another stat we haven’t yet plugged in: combined regular season and playoff points and records for our champs. Take a gander:

2013 – I’m Just Here to Pick Romo – 1,728.46, 10-6 overall record

2014 – I’m Just Here to Pick Romo –1,533.86, 9-7 overall record

2015 – Rowdy Rhinos – 1,819.64, 11-5 overall record

2016 – Stairway to Evans –1,603.50, 12-4 overall record

2017 – Cobb’s Bubble Route –1,535.26, 9-7 overall record

2018 – FFCA – 1,616.12, 9-7 overall record

2019 – Bunns of Steel – 1,723.26, 9-7 overall record

I think this final metric, a combined points scored and win/loss record, may bear out definitively Sloan’s 2015 team can be crowned the king of kings through seven years. One of only two teams in league history to win both the points title and championship, 2015 Rhinos had by far the most impressive playoff performance with back-to-back weeks of 130+ fueled by David Johnson, DeAngelo Williams and pre-concussion protocol AB.

Which back-to-back team was more dominant?

Back-to-back championships are difficult to win. It requires sustained excellence, something that is even more difficult in fantasy football than professional sports. That’s right I’m going full Nick Wright.

Hear me out: each year, our roster is set back to square one. No keepers, no advantages in next year’s draft for winning the title, none of that. And while most of the time, we end up with only 2-4 players in our starting lineup Week 16 that we drafted/counted on being major pieces for us, starting with a blank slate means risk.

Risk of drafting a guy who won’t play because of a contract dispute, risk of a guy being mysteriously benched midseason for maybe an injury, maybe because he’s in the doghouse, risk of drafting a wide receiver who will literally lose his mind and have his agent drop him nine months after signing a $40 million guaranteed deal.

All of this is to say, winning a title in the league requires you to not completely fuck the draft up, some shrewd waiver moves, maybe a trade that doesn’t ream you up the ass, and a shit ton of luck for two weeks come playoff time. To do it two years in a row is not unprecedented (as we’ve seen) but deserves a bit more recognition.

For this debate, I’ll lean on a lot of the stats we just outlined in the previous topic. Pure points in the 16 weeks combined, Travis’ two teams were better, with my 2013 team holding a slight edge in total points in a single season. Here’s another fun stat for us to dive into: combined point differential in playoffs for back-to-back champions.

2013 – I’m Just Here to Pick Romo – 46.66 total (23.33 average)

2014 – I’m Just Here to Pick Romo – 37.68 total (18.84 average)

Total over two years: 84.34 win differential

2018 – FFCA – 11.06 total (5.53 average)

2019 – Bunns of Steel – 80.14 total (40.07 average)

Total over two years: 91.20 win differential

Despite the one-win average in my favor, if the category is “dominant”, win differential may win the day. While T-Rav’s two playoff runs were very different, the differential in our most recent run may give him the edge. This is not how I expected this to go before I looked it up, but I think now I need a bump.

Scariest player by position in league history

QB – 2018 Pat Mahomes

Falling just short was 2013 Peyton Manning with 55 touchdowns, particularly his seven TD’s against my beloved Steelers to open up the season. But 2018 Pat Mahomes was absolutely the scariest QB to face in our seven-year history. 5,000 yards, 50 TD’s and a little scramble ability had you praying for mercy from that frog-voiced flamethrower. This year, he wasn’t nearly as deadly due to some injuries, both of his own and his supporting cast, but the guy was literally a video game last season, and Travis reaped the benefits all the way to the chip.

RB – 2017 Todd Gurley

Despite Christian McCafferey putting up more total points this season, Gurley’s playoff run may not be touched for a long time, which is what separates him in this debate. Kevin needed every bit of the 42 points Gurley put up in week 15 as he bested Pat by less than a point, and then ran away with the title as the man recorded over 270 yards from scrimmage and two receiving TD’s. The combined 81.60 points in the two biggest weeks of the season is like current Derrick Henry with a red bull in between his legs.

WR – 2018 Tyreek Hill

I gave this to Tyreek because even though his stats (1,479 receiving yards, 13 total TD’s) are amazing but not all-time, and his 245 points were bested by 2014 Antonio Brown, he is the most terrifying guy I can envision facing at the wide receiver position of the last seven years. It’s a combination of Mahomes, the other weapons the defense had to worry about, and that speed. The guy makes everyone look like they’re running in quicksand, and that was no more apparent than in 2018. He may end up with two catches for 60 yards, or eight for 210 and three TD’s. That Rams shootout in Los Angeles was amazing to watch, and to see him run by Marcus Peters and that entire secondary like they were seventh graders was mesmerizing. If the Chiefs had the ball on their own 1-yard line, he’d be my first pick to break a 99-yarder. The guy was, and is, something special but 2018 was his masterpiece.

TE – 2013 Jimmy Graham

Prime Jimmy Graham! In the Superdome, catching Drew Brees 15-yard crossing routes and jump balls to the tune of 16 TD’s and 217 points for the year, highest for a TE in the six-year position of our league.

It’s well-publicized some, if not all, of our owners’ loathing of the unpredictability of the tight end position, but while you could argue Gronk and Kelce have been more consistent week-in and week-out, prime JG was a monster, and I’m sure Pat enjoyed slotting him in while some of us struggled with Jason Witten, Jordan Reed, Coby Fleener, Martellus Bennett and the like.

K – 2017 Greg Zuerlein

2017 Greg the Leg reaped the benefits of an all-time offense. “Dominant” and “kicker” don’t usually go into the same sentence, so that’s pretty much all I have on this. I chose the highest-scoring kicker in league history, because he scored the most points. Also, he played eight games in a dome, and again, all-time offense with a consistent leg. Let’s move it along.

Defense – 2019 New England Patriots

Maybe the easiest choice of the list, by far the highest-scoring defense in league history; despite a few duds later in the year, the eight-week stretch to begin the season had never been done previously. Second defense in league history to score over 200 points (2013 Chiefs), and scored more points than all but five running backs/wide receivers. Well done, Belichick. Looks like all that taping sidelines paid off.

Part two to come, including: the Matthew Slater Award (best special teams owner) and the Ozzie Newsome award (best first round drafter), and more.