Week 5 Primer: CLBB swings again, read in 120 seconds or less

Alright, I felt like writing a week 5 preview this morning. To steal a phrase from all 32 NFL coaches, we've reached the end of our first quarter of the season (playoffs included). 

Let's see who excelled, and who's got some work to do. Along with the week 5 matchups. 

Coach Without A Season (3-1) vs. Rowdy Rhinos (0-4): North Raleigh Stand Up

Maybe the matchup with the most palace intrigue, here's a list of teams who have started 0-4 in our league:

2018 Max: 6-8, finished fifth in regular season (finished sixth overall)

2017 Glenn's: 5-9, seventh in regular season(finished fifth overall)

That's it. That's the list. A loss this week stacks the odds against the Rowdiest of Rhinos even more. If he can notch a win, though, a peek through the record books showed that the road to my second championship (the one Steve spent hard-earned FnF money to create a shirt about) began with a 1-4 start.

I'm not one to bet against the Human Quicker Picker Upper, but if he's got in his pocket a practice squad RB set to go for 22 points, now is the time to use it.

Fully Supported Troops (2-2) vs. Glenn's (3-1): Big Red and the Tank in Dallas

One of my favorite matchups each year between two ex-roommates, the Cowboys game will be the focal point of this matchup. With Glenn's QB connected to nearly 1/4 of Tyler's starting lineup and Dallas' kicker to boot, that 4:25 matchup against Danny Dimes will be essential to determine the winner of this.

A close second matchup to watch will be Cleveland-Indy, with the flex position battle between a refreshed OBJ, woman advocate Kareem Hunt and Jonathan "I took him too early, no I didn't" Taylor.

Fighting NRCA's (2-2) vs. Revenge of Cobb's Bubble Route (0-4): Not you, man

My thoughts this week:

Refer to the stats above. A monumental week for the victory lap of Cobb's Bubble Route. If the Mullaney household is to re-create that elusive 2017 magic, it starts here this week.

I've got a chance to put one of our league members an inch from the ground known as the consolation bracket. Does it give me pleasure? Absolutely not. Will we rise to the occasion? Look no further than my team's photo

Ready For A Full Load (4-0) vs. Demi-God Among Bots (2-2): Simp Lord Go Crazy

I like how Pat does this. He downplays his commitment to fantasy football, how he's no longer scouring stats week to week to determine best lineup choices, how he becomes the first remote drafter to not only black out but vomit stage left, and comes out of the first quarter 4-0 averaging 122 per game.

From his 158-bomb in week 3, 89% of those points came from players he drafted. Maybe we all need to drink Tito's mixies until we come back into the camera looking rougher than a 40-year veteran of West Virginia coal mines.

This is a great week for Steve (aka r/DumpTrucks, aka Simp God, aka TikTokSteve) to chip away at the narrative he hasn't won games of worth in this league. Taking down the last undefeated team will go a long way in doing that.