A Statement from the Rowdy Rhinos Headquarters

It was a tough week for the Rhinos as we digested the reality of narrowly missing the playoffs for the second consecutive year. After starting the year playing roulette with B-/C+ QBs in above average matchups and then having my own kicker outscore them, I realized that I was in worse trouble than Steve on draft night, 2018. Fortunately, the high-flying young rookie from Oregon emerged after Tyrod’s lung was punctured about 15 minutes before their week 2 matchup against the Chiefs. We all know the story. With the momentum that Herbert was gaining, the Rhinos seemed to be ascending faster than Zoom's stock during a global pandemic. Of course, that was until this past Sunday. 

On that note, I have also felt called to address the thrown game that ended up being one of a few stars that aligned in order for Stevie to make the playoffs over myself. The way I see it, JLB capitalized on an opportunity and I respect it. It's an interesting roll of the dice as this makes Pat’s road to the finals even easier as Load faces the third lowest scoring team in the league during the first round of the playoffs. Bottom line: I got to win those games down the stretch. That’s showbiz, baby.

Will I add an asterisk next to Steve’s title if he pulls it out in 2020? Naturally.

Will I add the tiebreaker rules to the docket for the 2021 summit? Of course. Always worth a discussion.

Will I boycott Mott’s applesauce for the rest of my days? You bet your ass.

Moving on, I’d be remiss to not make some quick notes on the playoff matchups as we head into the most important two weeks of our year:

RFAFL vs Mott’s

There’s no way around it – Pat’s team has been wreaking havoc all year. In my opinion, one player in particular has the potential to catapult Pat into the finals and give him a fantastic opportunity to capture the 2020 trophy: Derrick Henry. ‘Rick has two incredibly favorable matchups over the final two weeks of our fantasy season and historically excels even more once the cold weather comes around every year. Pat and his impressive facial hair (as seen on Zoom) is also coming off of best regular season record in BR history (golf clap). While Steve may have some favorable matchups across a couple of his positional players as well, I don’t think it’ll be enough to take down Mr. 11-3. Sorry Steve, but your opponent isn’t going to throw your matchup this week. Regardless of who won the trade, Pat takes week 15.

Side note on said trade: Simply looking at week 14, you may have thought that Steve won last week’s trade by acquiring Cam Akers. However, the Bucs WR matchups over the next two weeks are juicier than a filet mignon grilled by none other than my guy Max as he sports a pair of snow-white, crisp New Balances. Oof.

Troops vs. Glenn’s

Quick note: I was today years old when I noticed that Glenn's has had an apostrophe before the "s". Even with knowing the origination of the term "Glenn's", I'm still shaken up by this insinuation. An apostrophe is used to indicate possession, but there's nothing else in the team name to show what Glenn's owns. Is he implying ownership the other team? the matchup? My 2020 playoff chances? The stones on this man.

Back to the matchup - this has been a tough one for me to call. Ty has had one hell of a ride as Cook has almost single-handedly won him a series of matchups over the middle of the season. In addition, the Troops have Aiyuk (sans Deebo across the field), Montgomery, Chubb, and Sanders that all seem to be clicking on every last one of their cylinders of late. That said, at the time of this writing, Glenn's is waiting across the aisle with some ideal matchups consisting of Tannehill, Davis, JT, and Woods. Jacques will need to rely on his big playmakers in this one. The thought of this possibly coming down to the Sunday night, same-backfield matchup of Hunt vs. Chubb will pitch a tent in anybody’s drawers. Even with Cook playing a big role in earning Ty a spot in the playoffs, I see Glenn's vaulting into the finals after a finish that doesn’t end until late in the 4th on Sunday Night Football.

Finals prediction: Pat edges out Glenn's in the finals, 116 – 111.