CLBB 2022 Preseason Rankings
CLBB 2022 Preseason Rankings
Boys what a draft!!! The Sloan
Surprise, boating all over the Tampa Bay, drafting, poker, baseball, stump, the
list goes on. We did the year 10 draft the right way and this owner wouldn’t
have had it any other way. Some flew, others drove, and one did both. Great
commitment!
Before we get into the rankings, I want
to point out something that was defiantly the low point but worth mentioning.
Boys we sat at a restaurant for a little over 2 hours and had an unpleasant
experience to say the least. But through that whole endeavor we stuck it out.
Pat wanted to leave knowing this was a downer for the group, but Tyler said absolutely
not, and do you know what this group of fine men did? We stayed. We didn’t split,
we didn’t all complain about the executive decision to stay, we didn’t have
some people go back to the condo or go to the bar or go walk around the docks
and look at the sights. We stayed right at that table in solidarity with Pat.
Even sending Max and Steve on a strategic poker chip run ended with a selfless
act to get Patrick his burger. Absolute class act. Jean already said it but it’s
worth saying again. We have something special here.
Tyler said how awesome it was that we were drafting
before he became a troop and are still drafting after he got out. I agree. Can’t
wait for the year 20 draft with the wives and kids reminiscing about all the
life events we’ve been through while Bragging Rights remained. Let’s have a
great year 10!
Alright time to hurt some feelings and stir the pot, time
for CLBB preseason power rankings:
1.
OnlyDawgs – OnlyDawgs ain’t
your everyday subscription-based form of entertainment. You want to be a part
of OnlyDawgs you gotta earn it! Oh boy did the GOAT of fantasy earn it with this
draft. Back to snake and back on top. Justin Jefferson and Jamarr Chase is going
to be the most electric and terrifying WR duo we have ever seen, and he has
Tyreek Hill sitting in the flex. God help us all. The RBs are solid as well. Dipping
into the always productive, always sketchy 49ers backfield. Breece Hall is an
absolute DAWG and will be everyone’s favorite early to mid-round 2 pick next season.
He has also secured the rookie preseason darling in Damien Pierce down in
Texas. If he ain’t starting for those Texans before week 5 the Dolphins are
paying them to tank. He rounded out the RB core with the Packers #1 RB down the
stretch last season with AJ Dillon. Hurts at QB and St. Brown on the bench…scary.
OnlyDawgs taking pole position. It’s like Jamaal Williams said, “If you’re
gonna piss like a puppy, stay on the porch, and let the big dawgs eat! Let them
on the fucking field!” Boys this team is a big dawg. When you step off the porch
you best be pissing like a grown ass DAWG, leg raised.
a.
Sleeper: Damien Pierce
b.
Hot Take: Breece Hall finishes as
a top 10 RB
2.
Eyelid Cutters – Two RBs, two WRs, a
QB, a TE, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just
described to you the Eyelid Cutters. The 5th place phenom looks like
he is ready to take things to the next level in year 10. Initially the team at
CLBB was not wowed by any pick individually but after reviewing the board HIM
hit on nearly every pick. Instead of reaching in the 1st he picked
up last year’s stud Austin Ekeler. Instead of drafting last year’s defense too
early he didn’t draft a single defense. He hasn’t dropped Higgins yet but based
off the draft we expect Higgins to have zero eyelids all season. Pulling 5th
place out his ass won’t be an option since he will be dancing come playoffs to try
and snag his 2nd legitimate title. His combo of Josh Allen and Gab
Davis is going to be a real problem. All the experts expect big tings from
Swift and if he can avoid injury watch out! Evans, Higgins, and Thielen does it
get any more secure? Really expected HIM to pick Zach Wilson, the mom jokes
were somewhere to be had…missed opportunity, only whiff for this owner during
the draft. Don’t blink, Eyelid Cutters are a legit contender you won’t want to
miss the magic. Can’t wait to see this progrum go to work. He is HIM.
a.
Sleeper: George Pickens
b.
Hot Take: Gab Davis is this year’s
Mike Williams and finishes top 10 among WRs
3.
Glenn’s – Risky picks abound with
Barkley, Williams, and Penny (already hurt) to name a few but the upside is
there and so is the voodoo bag. The bag may be a little light from last year
but there is still plenty enough to reach maximum potential. It’s been three years
in a row making it to the finals by loading up on RB so what better way to
defend the title than to draft 4 RBs in the first 4 rounds. The WR training camp
hype is more than enough to feel confident the WR core will figure itself out.
BA and Robinson to the moon! Look for the chosen one, Rhamondre Stevenson, to
catapult this team to the playoffs. The highest rated rookie RB in the past 5
seasons has been Kamara, Nick Chubb, Josh Jacobs, JT, and Rhamondre Stevenson. All
were top 8 RBs in their second season and Stevenson is getting all the preseason
love. 3rd place has never won a championship, but we got Russel Wilson,
so we say to the non-believers: Glenn’s Country Let’s Ride!
a.
Sleeper: Darnell Mooney
b.
Hot Take: Rhamondre
Stevenson finishes as a top 8 RB
4.
Daddys Home –Once was simple owner
who added champion next to his name. Then came husband and after this huge
offseason he has added CFP next to his name but most important of all, father.
Boys this owner is not messing around anymore. He has already won a
championship it’s not about simply winning; it’s about creating that
generational wealth for John and future Mullaney owners. Back-to-back season of
impressing the analysts at CLBB Fantasy Network, Achilles be damned. Harris and
Mixon could easily be the best RB duo in the league. Fat Leony should be
getting all the touches he can eat on one of the best offenses in the league.
Akers is already dealing with a soft tissue injury and doesn’t have his
Achilles anymore but who needs one when you are on the Rams. TDs could be coming
in great abundance for Mully with this 4 headed behemoth of a RB core. The WRs
may not be flashy but they should provide plenty of floor with a decent ceiling
while Lamar is going for 20 through the air and 20 on the ground. Big weeks
ahead for the healthy RB playing QB. 4th place is the most successful
when it comes to winning it all. Did I mention that Melvin Gordon has been on
the champion’s team the past three seasons? Hmm curious thing that Gordon…wonder
who’s team he is on this year?
a.
Sleeper: Allen Lazard
b.
Hot Take: Terry McLaurin finishes
as a top 10 WR
5.
Rowdy Rhinos – The second owner in
the league to have a massive offseason addition. Shepherd Sloan, aka Waiver Wire
Will, has joined the Bragging Rights family. Beat reporters out of camp say Shep
was seen blasting the Baby Einstein soundtrack while drafting in over 100 real
money, best ball, fantasy football drafts simultaneously in preparation to take
on John Mullaney in the years to come. While reporters were focused on Shep,
his father slipped away unnoticed and got on a getaway plane to Tampa. Once
arriving Sloan took the room by storm and used the excitement to his advantage.
He snagged the high-risk, high-reward Dalvin Cook and followed it up with a man
who is never outside the top 10 in Nick Chubb for the safety. Sloan then proceeded
to pick the all-breakout team of WRs. Lamb, AJ Brown, Pittman, Sutton, and
Bateman all look to have massive seasons. Rowdy Rhinos is not a stranger to putting
up huge points and with Mahomes as his 9th pick it’s absolutely in
play this season. Could be an electric team. This league is never a cake walk
and you must fight for every inch. Hard to put this team outside the playoffs
but RBs seem to have the edge and the lack of RB depth makes it a narrow miss.
Don’t expect this champ and waiver wire king to accept this 5th
spot. He is going to put up a fight. Stay Rowdy.
a.
Sleeper: Chase Edmonds
b.
Hot Take: CD Lamb finishes as the
WR 1
6.
Horned Up – The Vet made his draft
known to everyone before draft day in one of the boldest strategies the league
has seen. He also shared intel that he hadn’t prepared past round 4. Seemed
like a lot of smoke and we at CLBB are sure there was plenty but after the
smoke cleared it kinda felt like he didn’t prepare past the 4th round.
A strong first 4 rounds but afterwards the pitfalls were quickly found by the Army
Veteran. Gibson already got benched for Robinson and is running with the 2s.
Harris is on the trading block. Miles Sanders himself said to not draft him in
fantasy and Aaron Jones wasn’t even the RB 1 on the team to finish the season. To
round out the draft in an act of defiance to the no TE in the WR position Ty
went ahead and made sure to have 2 TE on his team again and added a second QB
for good measure. He will undoubtedly be kicking himself for missing John
Mullaney at a steal in the 11th or Shepard Sloan in the 14th.
2 TE and 2 QB and a plethora of very “mid” RBs in this league doesn’t feel like
the winning formula. We respect out veterans, so 6th is where Horned
Up lands but no higher. Texas didn’t make the top 25 in the preseason rankings
so seems appropriate Horned Up falls short of the top 4 as well.
a.
Sleeper: Michael Thomas
b.
Hot Take: Kyler Murray spends
more than 4 hours watching film but falls outside the top 12 QBs
7.
Florida Man – Let’s address the
elephant in the room. Kamara isn’t getting suspended this year. Is there still
risk sure but feels almost non-existent at this point from everything CLBB has
heard. The proud owner of an overpriced, injury prone CMC will take the risk
and run with it. Want to say high risk high reward but in the healthy games he
played in last year he didn’t get to 20 points once. Which felt odd for a guy
we expect 20-25 week in and week out. Deebo has almost no chance in hell to
repeat last years insane performance. James Robinson doesn’t have an Achilles,
but the coaching staff said he is expected to have a large role. CLBB doesn’t
expect much from our favorite undrafted Jag but if he gets a large role expect
the Etienne hype train to slow down. Jacobs is projected to be in a committee
with Zeus. Abdullah is supposed to play the James White role means old school Patriot’s
uncertainty. DJ doesn’t have Big Ben and it’s Pickens SZN in the Steel City! Davonte
didn’t do much last year and is now the 2 behind AJ. James Cook is 3rd
on the depth chart in a Bills backfield that seems to be the only backfield
capable of producing an RB 4 who finishes with 6 points after beating an
opponent 54-10. JuJu is too busy making tiktok content for Steve and Marlon
Mack ain’t HIM in the Houston backfield. If Kamara, CMC, Deebo, Godwin, and
Herbert stay healthy and reach their potential this is easily a team capable of
making the playoffs, but CLBB doesn’t see that happening. The depth is lackluster,
and the upside doesn’t feel high enough for the risk.
a.
Sleeper: Ken Walker III
b.
Hot Take: Brandon Aiyuk finishes with
more fantasy points than Deebo Samuel
8.
City Boy Dental Care – There is a
yellow hue off in the near distance for our calendar model. Faint but very
real. It’s hard for him to make out the origins of this yellow glow but he
squints and sees what appears to be a large “W”. Our hero thinks nothing of it
but notices that no matter where he goes that yellow radiance follows him. Odd.
Our City Boy
entered the draft with an ELITE name and the 1st overall pick. He
fired the whole front office and he picked JT instead of a WR. This was his
year. This was the year he would win a championship. But the landslide looks
like it came quickly. Round after round of “why not that guy instead?” and “wow
that was a reach” could be heard throughout the draft room. Second round pick
was for Javonte Williams an RB with top 5 upside but is in a committee with a guy
who has missed 1 game since 2019 and the coaching staff said Williams and
Gordon are on a snap count. VROOOM I think zoomers would respond with
“miss me with that snap count in the 2nd.” City Boy proceeded to
pick an injured player coming off an ACL injury slated to be in a committee upon
return with the best running QB in the business. Tuff. For upside he went for
last year’s WR 15, a possession guy who is known for not scoring a lot of TDs
in Allen. THAT’S WHY HE’S THE GOAT! THE GOOOATT! Waddle was only
capable of WR 20 without Tyreek in town. HAAAA Jerry Jeudy was
projected by reports from camp to the be 3rd WR behind Tim Patrick
(big win for City Boy) and so the question now is: can Jeudy finally do it with
Russel? Let’s hope the coaching staff moves him outside. City Boy needed an RB
and he need one fast, so he went with a WR who is guaranteed 0 points through
the first 6 weeks in Hopkins. ALRIGHT! Still in desperate need of
an RB he decided to go with a handcuff in Pollard and for more upside he went
with injury prone, no TD scoring, George Kittle in a league that doesn’t have
the TE position. SON OF A BITCH! His QB doesn’t have an appendix and
so for more safety he went with a second-string RB who is past 30 and is the
injury prone poster child, Raheem Mostert. Follow it up with MVS, a boom bust
can’t catch receiver. PEPPAS!! With two picks left and so much preseason
to try and hit on a dart throw and find gold our Sigma Male mustered up all the
courage to go with a kicker and a defense. CITY BOY!!!!
A little less
sound board and a little more research could have been all the difference. Last
season’s preseason rankings saw the 7th place win the regular season
and the 8th place in the championship so that is the upside here—that
and the fact that Max’s virtual secretary thinks you look good. 0-15 has never
seemed so real to start a season and it would be fitting that it happens to
Only Me himself.
a.
Sleeper: Brian Robinson, Darrell
Henderson, Kenneth Gainwell, Isiah Pacheco
b.
Hot Take: Jonathan Taylor finishes
outside the top 10
Winners prove me right. Losers prove me wrong.
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