CLBB staff chatter: Week 7 edition

CLBB staff chatter: Week 7 edition

Below are a compilation of sports radio-friendly segments compiled by the CLBB staff relating to the upcoming week of games, the season leading up to today, or the topical world of our expansion-friendly owners ready for their profit-sharing bonuses.

Winners/Losers

Winner: Top QB’s

Of the virtual library of statistics that is profootballreference.com, the Fantasy Stats section occupies a small corner. Within that corner though includes a handy little stat dubbed VBD (Value Based Drafting) popularized by Joe Bryant in the 1990’s.

It’s defined as: 

the players fantasy points minus the fantasy points of the baseline player,

where the baseline player is the 

12th-ranked QB,

the 24th-ranked RB,

the 30th-ranked WR,

or the 12th-ranked TE

Of the top 10 players ranked in VBD now, four are QB’s (Allen, Jackson, Hurts, Mahomes).Now you may say “Max, of course QB has the most in the top 10, they score the most points” or “we only have eight teams so this doesn’t apply as much”.

If we look at the difference between Allen (172.9 points) and the eight-ranked QB currently, Herbie (103.24 points) that’s still a larger difference than Nick “catch atheist” Chubb (112 points) and the 16th-ranked RB, Aaron Jones (63.20 points)

Same goes for the WR position with Diggs (101.6 points) and the 16th-ranked WR Mikey WIlliams (52.90 points).

In a 1-QB league, you never want to be the guy who overdrafts a signal caller, even if he’s a flamethrower in a potent offense or has Hot Wheels for legs, but this year is proving again if you get a top QB that is within that elite points group, you give yourself a great shot. The owners who drafted Allen, Mahomes and Hurts rank 1-2-3 in points scored. Jackson’s team is… a bit lower.

Loser: All-Pro WR replacements

Feels like everyone took at least one shot at drafting/picking up a pass catcher from the Chiefs and/or Packers in the hope they now had the new Davantae Adams, or the new Tyreek. Turns out those guys are pretty incredible no matter who they’re with, and although Mahomes has had an incredible start to the year (Rodgers not as much) neither offense has produced a weekly plug and play WR starter (Kelce exempt). Chemistry matters, just ask our World’s Best Boss/Commissioner/Pipe Layer.

Winner: Monogamy

Just wanted to emphasize again how the league brought the energy this weekend when the lights were bright, and love was in the air.

We had some league owners keeping their promise as absolute Weapons on the dance floor (looking at you, Sound Financial and Glenn’s) as well as the Charlotte Dawg denying my co-worker a shot.

Shaggy came on, and the bride noted she saw a dozen navy blazers/suits morph onto the dance floor. That song lit the fuse that didn’t stop burning until tabs were settled at the local Waffle House.

Loser: Criminals

The wattage of brain power working to solve the Purse Snatcher mystery on Saturday evening almost brought down the power grid on the greater East Coast. 

There was some discussion of Austin-native and confirmed nice lady Rachael getting interrogated at the Crowne Plaza, good cop-bad cop style from the two league skyscrapers/former Columbia lovers, but no further intel was revealed. The mystery was solved (so the press release says) but still some interesting theories out there.

Buy/Sell

Buy: Bye Week Bizarros

Week 7 is among the hardest-hitting weeks this year for byes, as the Bills, Rams, Vikings and Eagles all are taking a well-earned breather.

We’re going to see some bold moves this week as the waiver (seemingly) had no blockbuster buys.

It could result in some rock fights, or knowing the fickle way fantasy works, some absolute shootouts. Maybe a Geno-Metcalf stack drills fight into City Boy Dental Care’s molar. 

Maybe Tua puts up another 40-bomb against the Steel Curtain (now a rag), or Kenyan Drake catches a couple tuddies from Lamar, circumcising Daddy’s Home.

Discomfort and uncertainty can push a man to do irrational things - let’s get weird out there, pack your Tums this Sunday.

Sell: self-induced trade embargos

In recent years, our proud league has had a couple of things in common with the US and the nation formerly known as the USSR - mistrust on any deals, and lots of espionage.

That vice grip of mistrust between league owners has seemingly began to loosen with already four trades this season.

It seems that mutually beneficial trades can be made, or both owners can at feel as if they didn’t get completely fleeced (except for mine and Steve’s trade obvi)

Buy: Expansion

Historically in North American professional sports leagues, expansion is a double-edged sword. On one hand, the existing owners now have to split their piece of the proverbial cake/pie/pastry of choice with someone else, and therefore their piece gets a little smaller.

On the other hand, the existing teams usually get a nice little chunk of change for adding another team or two thanks to a new stadium (or new use of an existing), new slate of home broadcasts in a city, and other revenue streams that didn’t previously exist.

We got a brief glimpse into the bright future of this league, spending some time with the young buck, John “headgear god” Mullaney. 

Shep wasn’t in attendance, but he sent his very best rep in his stead - his dad, Sloany aka Rowdy Rhinos aka Gent in the Streets, Ace in the Spreadsheets.

On three, everybody smile and say “profit-sharing bonuses”!

Sell: Discrimination

An anonymous letter was sent to CLBB headquarters stating the Commissioner’s Office has hired an independent task force to investigate the intent behind the team name “OnlyDawgs”. 

When the team name was originally announced, it was stated as a family-friendly nod to the wildly popular “OnlyFans” media company, empowering content creators around the world to post their talents and skills.

But the letter sent to CLBB (and the basis of the task force investigation) is whether or not OnlyDawgs ownership is knowingly excluding and ignoring those who don’t identify as “Dawgs” for gainful employment.

We’ve reached out to OD’s media relations team, so far no word back.

Blame Pie

Time to divvy it up - somebody needs to point the finger, because it’s not ownership’s fault. Who’s hungry?

Edge piece, heavy on the crust: Arthur Smith

Heading into the season, there were three tight ends worthy of drafting even in our league of flex-heavy spots. 

Kelce, Andrews, and Create-A-Player Kyle Pitts. Pitts was prone to break out after showing flashes last year, and with a skillset like that and being drafted #6 overall, he was too big to fail.

Our resident TE lobbyist, Veteran Larned drafted him, but was forced to drop him. He’s currently the TE21, and after having 68 catches for 1026 yards last year is on pace for 44 catches and 575 yards.

Why does Arthur Smith hate Kyle Pitts? Why is two the max # of playable TE’s in the league? And why, WHY can we not play them at WR?

Cookie cake, with icing piece: old guard QB’s 

After years of Brady, Brees, Rodgers and Wilson dominating the fantasy landscape, there’s only two QB’s over the age of 30 in the top 10 this year - Kirk Cousins (permanently stapled to #10) and Geno fuckin Smith.

Brady’s at 14, Matty Ice is at 16, Russ “Let’s Ride to the beaches of Normandy” Wilson is 17 and Mr. Run-Pass Immunization is 20th currently. Wilson can’t move anymore, Brady’s o-line is in shambles and Rodgers lost his best friend and has never heard of Juice Wrld.

TB12 helped net Glenn’s their first title this past year, but it looks like whoever wins the Rendleman this year will have a Gen Z signal-caller.

Drunk dad at 1 AM piece (half the pie): bad offensive lines

Few things are more frustrating than watching your bellcow RB you spent $40+ or drafted in the top two rounds break two tackles just to stumble into a three-yard gain.

Our top winner of that award this year is Najee Harris, for the second year in a row he’s running behind one of the three worst offensive lines in the league, and it appears it’s already robbed him of some of the mediocre burst he even had last year.

Some other candidates for this award included #1 pick Johnathan Taylor, James Conner and Cam Akers/Darrell Henderson.

Sometimes, a fresh set of legs like Dameon Pierce or Saquon after being in the cryochamber for a year can combat this sickness, but more often than not it’s a brutal diagnosis. 

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