2026 Post Week 3 Panic Meter

9/29/26

Desk of the Commish

Post Week 3 Panic Meter

Well, here we are. We are boots on the ground running in our 14th Season, and things have been weird. From an all time high scoring week 1 around the National Football League, to an all time dominant start from Flightpath (Gruden would be so proud), to hospital wings opening up left and right due to all of the injuries: this season feels familiar for some, and unfamiliar for others. Running backs are clearly at a massive premium in our league, and tight ends are just as frustrating as the day we lost them. It’s still very early in the season, and teams are still figuring out their identity. Moves will (hopefully) still be made. Injuries will continue to happen. League winners have yet to be picked up. 

This time last year, Chase was still on Rowdy Rhinos, Bijan and Nico were still on Ty’s team, and Kaleb Johnson was not seen as the worst 7th round pick in league history. We have a long way to go this season, but I had to do some early season content to piggy back off Ty’s post Week 1 hot takes pod appearance. Let’s take a look at a panic meter tier list:

                                            

Paper Planes (Travis): 3-0

What a blistering hot start for the two time champ. Secured Bijan at 2, kept JSN for incredible 2nd round value, and took a QB the earliest anyone has taken one since Travis joined the league (not sure if that’s true, but it seems true). What a recipe for success early on. For reference, we all know last year Kevin broke the PF record with 2,017.90 which comes out to an average of 118.17/week. So far this season? Travis is averaging a whopping 138.26/week. And for the “Well we added TE so obviously scores are going to look better” crowd- remove his Warren scoring so far and you still get 130.10/week. Absurd. HE APPLIES THE PRESSURE.

Panic score: 1/10. Why did I give him one point? He’s won these first three games thanks to all time weeks from the 3 players above. If they come back to earth a little- can Garrett Wilson, Tuten time, Tony Pollard/Monangai, and Zay Flowers fill in the gaps to string together more wins? Who knows. That’s honestly a moot point. Guys Travis is averaging 137.23 points!!!! Who do we think we are? HE IS!

                                              

Kidd-Gilchrist’s Revenge (Max): 2-1

Yes he just lost to the aforementioned Paper Planes, but he did so while putting up 139. In terms of recent success (IE myself and Kevin in 2024 and 2025), Max has the best full recipe for season long success by going the “3 good to great RB and 1 alien, unbelievable, WTF RB” route to pair with good WRs. London reminded us oh SHIT that guy is good with a competent QB. Parker Washington, the training camp darling himself, is proving to be T Law’s #1 guy by a wide margin. He has the most “set and forget” roster in our league in my opinion (reminder this is an opinion article), and he should feel just fine for the foreseeable future.

Panic score: 2/10. I guess the two points are cause I can’t give him 1, that would be silly. He’s on a different tier than Travis and our graphics guy already went home for the night. So maybe Gibbs starts averaging, like, 20 PPG instead? Maybe Jeanty gets in a split backfield? Maybe Michael “he has the best knee I’ve ever seen” Penix goes down again? Maybe BTJ finally gets back to rookie form and fulfills his destiny as Jacques’ 2025 keeper? Max should be in bliss.

Kev the Builder (Kevin): 2-1

Not everyone is getting their own tier, even you defending champ. But remember the whole Travis is on pace to break 2025 Kev’s record? Well 2026 Kev is also on pace. I didn’t realize that until I was typing this out and did some math. Kev is averaging 132.96/week, so honestly not as impressive as Trav’s. However, he just took me out back to send me to 0-3 and he is rolling. He’s got Purdy the Poster Child for waiting on a QB (the anti-Dalton), two workhorse studs in Henry and Walker, and Bowers has arrived and looked like a 3rd round pick. Not to mention Higgins has looked good, and Chuba does in fact have full control of that backfield. Will Kev repeat and become the second 3 time champ? One can hope. And obviously I mean that literally. No one but Kev wants to see that shit happen.

Panic score: 3/10. Going to give him one more than Max just simply due to rolling out 3 RBs instead of 4, Adams should come back down to regular production when (I guess IF) Puka comes back, and Bowers is always a risk to get hurt again. Oh and ETN looks like the most overpaid back in the league and is on IR with a hammy. All that being said- guys I just said he’s averaging 130. Kev should feel some bliss

Glenn’s (Jacques, aka Potstir): 1-2

If you thought “I wonder if Jacques texted Steve saying wow we’re both 0-3” before Monday Night Football even started, your brain is working correctly. He got a nice win under his belt to avoid 0-3, and Glenn’s has got to be happy stealing one from PPNC. It’s very fun that his one Saint this year is a TE (who’s doing great btw, currently TE3), and he finally got to see Love’s coming out party. I was shocked to see him starting one of the worst QBs ever (his words, not mine) in Jared Goff, but he was a nice Caleb replacement this past week. Cook is gonna cook. Friendly reminder to everyone: he and the voodoo are one. There is no existence of voodoo without Potstir. Don’t fall for his “Welp time to put on the running shoes!” gimmick. If he can get past a couple of injuries, this team has a chance at making the playoffs. 

Panic score: 5/10. Injuries have not been kind to him. Caleb, Mason, and his 2nd round keeper Puka have been a bummer. He keeps starting Rhamondre I guess out of necessity? And his two starting WRs have the most inconsistent QB play in maybe the entire league. If he doesn’t make a trade, he needs some things to really bounce his way. But it’s doable. 50/50. Either they do, or they don’t. That’s analytics baby

Perpetual Post Nut Clarity (Patrick): 2-1

After a ridiculous 159 week 1, and a very good 126 week 2, Pat came back down to earth a little. He went WR heavy like me, except his team actually scores points. ARSB has looked like the sun god that he is, and McBride is providing consistency at an inconsistent position. CMC is losing work to Black but is still so productive. But, we are a standard league, and his RB2 looks terrible (besides week 1, that actually does seem like a fluke. #Tywasright). He has big names on the roster, but will that be enough? I’ve doubted Pat in the past, but he hasn’t made the playoffs in 2 seasons. Could he miss them for the third straight? Or can his stars pull it together?

Panic score: 7/10. I already know you all may think that’s nuts seeing as he’s 2-1 and 3rd in PF to start the season. Well you know what? Write your own opinion piece. Hurts looked awful last night, and is QB11. Luckily he does have Shough, and we all might get Shough’d up going forward. Monty is in a true split with Marks. Evans is touchdown dependent and unless he ends up having a 2025 Adams season, I’m not sure how that looks in one of his flexes. Pickens is WR53 (but WR1 on the cowboys am I right Ty? #Tywaswrong) and Lamb is their guy. A lot of question marks on this team, and he needs some RB help BAD.

Emote Wheel (Tyler): 1-2

Coming off the second lowest point total from a team so far this season, vibes have got to be low for Emote Wheel. The emote in his team picture is becoming more real by the week. Who are his 3 good players you ask? Well obviously Lamar. He’s QB8 and is playing very well to start the season with 2/3 games with 20 or more points. JT is a certified league winner, and only had sub-10 due to facing that nasty Texans D. Hampton gets .5 of a point simply because the talent is there, but that offense looks terrible. He’s also losing work to Mitchell and Vidal and isn’t involved in the passing game….at all. 3 targets through 3 weeks is scary times for his 2nd round keeper. Why do I get the sense Ty is going to put on the docket to get rid of keepers? Rice is his other .5 player. Mahomes looks much better than the past 2 seasons, and while Rice hasn’t scored double digits yet, the volume is there and he’s still a start every week guy.

Panic score: 8/10. I mean he has 3 players. His round 11 kicker is showing some life and may get him to 3.5 players. Hall is hurt and looks a little Fleecey. He cannot figure out TE for the LIFE of him, and Jones will be in a split backfield the second Mason comes back. He has no WR2 (buddy tried the Jamo experience the week after Kev tried it. Bro really saw that and said yippee my turn!!!). But glad you got Tate! And, of course, Price looks like the reach of the draft. 

Prodigal Rizzionary (Steve): 0-3

I didn’t want to talk about my abysmal start last. As the author I have that right! What a terrible start. I can’t escape injuries, my players are allergic to scoring touchdowns, and I can’t figure out how to use my FAAB correctly apparently? Why I chose this tier name for myself (and one other, we’ll get to that)- I know I’ve beat this into the ground over the course of our fantasy history. “ONLY ME, ONLY ME!” I shout from the roof tops. We had two wonderful seasons where I didn’t get dumped on and curb stomped in the PA department. But boy oh BOY are we so back. I’m currently first in PA and on pace to obliterate the PA record. Last year, Sloan set that mark (yes I remember Ty you were right there as well) with 1,900.22 PA coming out to an average of 111.78/week. Brutal. Me through 3 weeks? Averaging 132.15/week. Just insane. Will it balance out? Or could season 14 truly be the most Only Me season of all time?

Panic score: 9/10. It’s too early still in the season to give myself a 10/10. On paper I have great players. But that’s not how fantasy works! My 3rd round pick has been out since the 3rd Q of a damn Wednesday game week 1, my 4th round pick has played 1 game, and my Brown/Barkley combo is yielding mid results so far. I’m starting DEEBO SAMUEL in the big 2026. At least Olave is awesome. And my best players could end up being Vikings D and Tyler Loop maybe? Everyone on my team is on the block. I’m all ears.

Rowdy Rhinos (Sloan): 1-2

He is coming off a win thanks to Ty’s team no showing, but this guy is in trouble. I put him in the same tier as me because he can also break a record: by being the first one in league history to run the Dalton Dash three straight years in a row. His bright spot is he does have an elite WR trio in Chase, Lamb, and Watson (Packers suck currently, but he is their one redeeming player). He has Burrow, but he’s started slow at QB12. Can that trio be enough along with Javonte to avoid his 3rd straight 8th place? Or 4th Mully? Buckle up RR riders. It could get BUMPY.

Panic score: 9/10. Also can’t give him a 10/10, that would make me look like an idiot. But the guy just lost his 2nd rounder Achane for the season and Bucky, his new RB2, is RB22 on a team that just lost their starting QB for 3 weeks (and whose offense as a whole looks like dog water). His only other RB options? Judkins and Hendy. He can’t figure out TE (what not having Kittle on his team does to a mf) and keeps starting Packers D for some reason. He’s fully relying on three WRs and Javonte in a standard league to keep his team afloat. Does bro want to go for a sub 9 minute Dalton Dash? Sure seems like it.

That’s all folks!

The Commish